CrossNation Roadtrip
by Raven and Angel
Summary: In Hawaii: Envy hula dances! In Las Vegas: Ed get's drunk! In Niagra Falls: Riza pushes Roy over the edge! Aren't road trips so much fun?


Cross-Nation Road Trip

By: Raven

"Envy!" Sam shrieked and hugged the said homunculus around the waist. (Poor poor Envy...) Envy let out a grunt, staggered forward, and immediately tried to pry the girl off.

"Sam, let go!" Becca tried to help Envy pry the psychotic girl off.

"Envy ich mein!" She said in German (Translation: Envy is mine!)

"What are you doing?" The (cute) Homunculus snapped.

The girl finally let go. "I'm hurt. At least you don't have hundreds, or maybe thousands, I dunno, of fangirls tackling you saying, 'I LOVE ENVY!' wearing a shirt and pants like yours with the sign on the same spot on their leg with their shirts reading "I (HEART) ENVY!" and with wigs so their hair looks like yours."

"Are you describing yourself minus the wig?" Liza jogged up and asked sarcastically.

"Haha very funny. But, really, Envy, if you want to see...Look outside the window." She pointed at the window, and Envy pried away the curtains. A girl glued her face the window, and he could clearly hear her say, "EHMAGAWD! IT'S ENVY, GIRLS!"

He also saw a mass of black all of them wearing Envy's outfit.

"God damn..." He muttered.

The window shattered, and a girl tried to pry Envy outside.

The girl ended up in the critical trauma ER., courtesy of Sam.

Sam rubbed her hands together. "Right, who's up for a road trip?"

"With who?" Liza asked.

"Um...Roy, Riza, Lust, Wrath, Ed, Al...um, Winry...uh, you, me, Envy, Liza...Hitler..."

"Hitler?" Liza asked.

"You nuts, Sam?" Becca demanded.

"Uh...no Hitler, I'm assuming?"  
"Exactly." Liza muttered.

"Good!" Becca smiled.

"Envy's coming with us." Sam picked up her iPod.

"Whhhhy?" Becca narrowed her eyes.

"Dunno? Well...maybe because he's cute...and awesome?"

"Why?" Liza asked. "He killed Ed!"

"I'm being benevolent today," Sam answered and looked at Envy.

Liza and Becca exchanged looks. Whenever Sam was benevolent, someone was about to get hurt or embarrassed.

Envy turned and said, "Say something?"

--

_Later _

Three hours, a cruise ship, five more hours, five bags of candy, eighteen sodas, nine bottles of water, two bagels, twenty coffees, and three Hummers later, the crew arrived at Oahu in Hawaii.

_Sam-_

Being obsessive is quite fun. But driving your obsessions to the hotel you booked IS NOT fun. 'Specially after that airplane fiasco from Arizona to Washington to catch the cruise.

Anywaaaaaay, we made it to the Hilton Stars Hotel, and checked in without a problem.

"Right," I announced, "We'll have to share rooms. Um...We'll draw lots. One group has to have three people."

In the end, Liza was roomed with Al, no longed a suit of armor. Becca was with Ed, to her great enjoyment, I was with Wrath and Envy (Gee, lucky me. Well, no, I screwed it up so I was SURE to be with them. Envy and Wrath don't really get along with each other.). Lust got a room with Winry (the only one with two bathrooms), and Roy and Riza had to share. I feel sorry for Roy.

I handed out the card keys, and handed everyone their luggage.

"Come on, Wrath," I said. A passing old lady smiled, and gave the kid a box of candy.

_-Envy-_

Remind me again why I'm along with this. Why I say that?  
Reasons:

1. I'm sharing a room with a GIRL. I'll have to look through her clothes.

2. I'm stuck with Wrath. The Girl adores him. Wish Wrath would kill her.

3. The Chibi and Tin-Man are here.

4. Sam, the Psycho, adores me. I mean it.

5. She HUGGED me.

HUGGED!

Damn the girl. Damn all the fangirls, though I wish the Chibi didn't have any fans. According to Psycho, he has even more fans than I do. The good thing: Sam doesn't seem crazy about Chibi and Tin-Can. That's good. I followed the girl to our room, Top Floor Pent House, along with the others.

"How'd you afford this?" Wrath asked.

"Credit card."

"Oh."

Pause.

"What's a Hawaii?"

Sam smiled, and the elevator dinged. The place is weird. But I swear the Chibi looks familiar in all this shit. The door opened, and Sam stepped out. I followed, stepping ahead of the girl. She fell back to talk to her friends. Wrath followed.

I turned a right, and the group broke apart in to pairs.

"Girl," I snapped. Why is it that I call her Girl? I'm losing my insulting Wit! "The key?"

She popped up beside me.

"Freak," I muttered. She inserted the key, and a light blinked green. She then turned the ornate crystal doorknob, and stepped inside.

"Ah...Tiki style. Perfect!" She dumped her bags on a white leather couch, and left to the right. I followed.

The kitchen was immaculate. Marble tiling on the floor, and the island. An oak table and mahogany chairs were placed around it. A bowl of something browned was piled in a corner.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, pointing to it.

"Hm. Good question." She walked over, and popped one in her mouth. "Chocolate, with a...jeez. Rather strong liquor filling. God. Here, you can have them. Give them to someone. Jeez. Just don't get drunk on them." She passed the bowl to me.

"It look's like someone shit in this thing."

"Use your imagination with the liquor." She paused. "Oh, yeah, there's only one bathroom. We'll have to share."

Lightning to my poor, non-existent soul.

--

_-Sam-_

I knew I shouldn't have mentioned there was only one bathroom. Great. Now he just flipped over the couch. I glared at him, an Wrath helped me straighten it out. I examined the glass table. It was fine, thank god.

_Ed_

Becca is a fangirl.

HELP ME WINRY!

She has shirts of me, necklaces of the Elric family crest, DVDs of me, underwear of me, and things that look like balls attached to under wear of me.

Oh, crud. Almost got.

Ok, I admit it.

I looked through her clothes.

Crud, hope she doesn't noticed some of her things are misplaced.

-

_Roy_

"Help...Me!"

My situation?

Up on the rooftop, with Riza firing her gun at me. Sadly, there is a rotating restaurant nearby, and the people are watching, thinking it's a show.

I swear, I didn't do anything.

I was just watching a DVD I bought, "How to Win a Ladies Heart: Miroku Style." I had to try out some of his techniques. And now here I am!

I'm never buying his products ever again.

HELP!

_None: Sam's Pent House_

Sam smiled. "Guys, we're going to the beach tomorrow! But we're going shopping first."

No answer.

Then something tackled Sam to the floor, and straddled her.

"Shit," she murmured.

She was in a quite awkward position...

--

The start of another FMA fan fic. –SIGH- I know, I'm quite obsessive. Ah well. Hehe. And yes, my friends are in this one again, mainly because it's fun annoying the FMA cast with me and my friends. Ha! Um...I have the second chapter written up...But I'll post whenever I feel like it. XD I'm lazy. WH00T!


End file.
